Blog Set 11: Between Two Coffee Mugs!

"Berenice" Interview. 

***This scripted interview is a modern take on the tragic events depicted in the short story, "Berenice", by Edger Allen Poe. The concept of the interview has been taken from Zach Galifianakis's highly successful web-episodes, "Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis”. Enjoy!***

Falcon: "Hi and welcome to another edition of “Between Two Coffee Mugs”, I'm Michael Falcon. My guest today is Mr. Egaeus, who is mostly know for his horrific crime against his beautiful cousin Berenice, back in 2013. His deplorable crime of passion sent shock waves throughout the nation as police uncovered the details of his horrific crime against the then gorgeous, Berenice. She was featured on the hit television show, “Americas Got Talent”, and most recently, before her tragic demise, “America’s Next Top Model”. But, I digress. Mr. Egaeus, welcome and thank you for being on “Between Two Coffee Mugs”.

Egaeus: (Looking off into space, like a mad man who just recently escaped from jail) "Thanks Michael.” (Long pause) “I'm glad to be here." 

Falcon: "Well, it's good to have you here, even if it's only half of you, and by that, I mean the physical you." 

(Egaeus looks at Michael for a brief moment, they lock eyes as if they are having a moment of deep thought in the middle of their conversation.)

Falcon: "Soooooo I hear you like reading books! Why don't you share with us some of your favorite titles that you’ve recently read.” (Awkward pause, staring at Egaeus, paper with questions in hand. He shuffles them around nervously.) “You know, I read a book once, it was called "Rashomon". A very good book, I highly recommended if you have any time." 

(Egaeus waits a moments, still staring at Michael with what appears to be disbelief.)

Egaeus: "I like reading books, they keep me in my happy place." 

Falcon: "And what the hell is your happy place, a dentist office? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that!" 

Egaeus: "Asshole. No, I like reading about Latin and old stories about love and longing. I desire certain things in life and I always seem to be just out of reach of getting them.” (Stretches his arm out towards Falcon as he says that. Subsequently, Falcon leans back into his chair to avoid Egaeus’s hand) “Have you ever had that feeling? That longing for connection and companionship? Oh, if I could only see my loves again." 

(Falcon holding his paper questions in hand, showing a facial expression of shock and disgust while Egaeus looks wistfully into space.) 

Falcon: "Well, yes, I have that feeling all of the time, especially when walking by a StarBucks and seeing all of those goodies and then looking down at my belly and wondering, why not stomach, brain, and mouth? Why can't I have just one treat today? Usually they acquiesce." 

Egaeus: "I-I-I don't think we are on the same page herrrrrre. (Reflecting now the same shocked as Falcon did and then a long pause as if a whole new idea dawned on him) You have beautiful teeth, you know." 

Falcon: "Why thank you a-an-and back off. They're staying right in my mouth, buuuuut thank you very much. So, let's talk about Mommy! How did Berenice fill this void of love for you?" 

Egaeus: "Mom wasn't around much.” (pause) “After birth, I mean. She was really gone!” (staring out into space ) “But Berenice, she gets me and understands my talents and heh mental shortcomings. She accepts me for who I am and what I contribute to society. But revealing to the world just how beautiful her teeth are, well, those lovely pearly white teeth of her's are stunning. I sometimes touch my teeth with my tongue, imagining that they are her teeth that I am touching."

(Total shock now from Falcon, as if Egaeus is contagious with madness. Egaeus is licking his teeth. Surely, he is imagining they are Berenice’s.)

Falcon: "You are one messed up little man! You and your fetish with teeth. I bet The American Dental Society has a lifetime ban on you! Sicko! What filth you are and what's up with the creepy teeth references? I mean we all know what happened you grave robber! I just don't get how you didn't remember what you did? I mean, come on! When you dropped the box, what were you expecting, Monopoly game pieces? You are one sick man!"

Egaeus: "It takes one to know one!"

Falcon: "Is that a threat or a observation? I don't know, my English teacher is always correcting me. Well, that's it folks. I'm Michael Falcon and this has been another edition of “Between Two Coffee Mugs”, Good Night!" 

(Egaeus looking straight into the camera, Falcon looking at him and shaking his head. Fade to black, intro music and credits) 

"The Furnished House Room" Question:

Drama is everywhere now a days. I'm sure the hustle and bustle of New York City life would make anyone a little bit fascinated and curious about what occurs behind all of those closed doors. What's happening with the newly married couple? What's going to happen to the lonely old man? Who is the new attractive lady living in that house? All of these questions and more are pondered while people are walking down Lexington Avenue. So, why not wonder and fantasize about what it must be like living in someone else's shoes? I know that the few times I have visited New York City, I thought the blind & curtain business must be a real bust. Pretty much everyone has his or her windows open to the outside world, and are allowing complete strangers a glimpse into the window of another person’s life, while the occupants of said windows look out onto the dirty streets. The only thing separating the two worlds is a thin piece of glass. This is very much unlike South Florida, where everyone has their houses and apartments covered up, and people never reveal what happens inside. South Floridians create a mystery for dog walkers and runners who ponder what really goes on behind closed doors and covered windows. 

"The Board Window" Question:

Where did the cougar come from? What a remarkable plot twist! I believe it is supernatural because the lady was already dead and then she came back to life to protect her lover. The bite marks and fur left behind are evidence of the great battle. She was called back to her body to do one more act or feat of love and protection. We hear about these types of things every once in a while: a mother comes back to life to save her children or just a strange coincidence of events after the fact of death. The spirit is more powerful than we give credit and the hand of action is like the samurai, even with the head cut off, it can still perform one more action with certainty. Ghost Dog!